Source: objekt-a via ironpug

Source: frenums via ironpug

Source: theodd1sout via ironpug

I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt. - THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird (via shroomfairy)
Source: blythebrooklyn via wrenger

Source: reddit.com via fuckyeahloldemort

Source: drunkchan via fuckyeahloldemort

Source: suzziepsyche via fuckyeahloldemort

butthorn:

I just attended the best passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “You get out of it this time Jesus”

Source: butthorn via fuckyeahloldemort

Source: somelittleparadise via fuckyeahloldemort

Source: nomorefreerandy via fuckyeahloldemort

Source: imsirius via fuckyeahloldemort

llieo:

holy fuck we have our windows open and we heard a blood curling scream so naturally I went to look out the window because wow is someone getting stabbed?? and it is just my neighbour on his knees staring at a KFC chicken bucket spilt all over his driveway

Source: tansma via fuckyeahloldemort

ccartimandua:

lucithor:

being gay before the invention of lube must have been a pain in the ass

according to my history professor this is actually a huge contributing factor to the popularity of olive oil in Ancient Greece

Source: lucithor via fuckyeahloldemort

Source: iiizzzunicorn via fuckyeahloldemort

celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying